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From the FutureTech Collection

30 Ways to Annoy People

  1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
  2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
  3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
  6. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
  7. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
  8. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
  9. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper 99 copies
  10. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.>
  11. Sniffle incessantly.
  12. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
  13. Name your dog "Dog".
  14. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".
  15. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
  16. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training".
  17. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
  18. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".>
  19. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
  20. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  21. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
  22. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  23. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person".
  24. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  25. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
  26. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
  27. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
  28. Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridgeacross the room.
  29. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
  30. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  31. BONUS: Send 30 ways to annoy people to people who are ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK!
We don't suggest that you actaully DO any of these things (except for maybe the last one).  If your board Email Us. This page is located at Pile -O- Junk <>