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From the FutureTech Collection

The Fart Story

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice. He gave up baked beans.

They were married shortly thereafter.

Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work, and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late bacause he had several miles to walk home.

He stopped at a cafe and had three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted, and after arriving home, he felt reasonably safe that he had putt-putted the last one.

His wife seemed excited and somewhat agitated to see him, exclaiming, "darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!" She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the dining room table. He seated himself. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned.

Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a prize winner. While keeping his ear on the phone conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom. He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it, and smiled contentedly to himself, and was the very picture of innocence when his wafe returned. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked. He assured her that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise

Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Yummy :-) We did not write this. This page is located at Pile -O- Junk <>